So proud of myself, and the work I did this semester. I don't care is that is a bit self-indulgent!
Thank you for everyone's support and help, especially Carole. :)
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
what i have learned from my thesis
vulnerability makes you human.
bravery and confidence follows vulnerability.
insecurities makes you relate-able.
we are more similar then we are different.
There is NOTHING more rewarding then helping people, and making them feel good about themselves. My boss told me once that when she is feeling depressed she would volunteer somewhere and help those in need, I will never forget that. I honestly believe that we were put on this planet to help each other, i could tear up writing this because I feel like through my thesis work I connected with so many girls. They trusted me with deeply personal things. They deserve all the respect in the world for letting themselves be vulnerable.
The bottom line is that everyone deserves to be happy in their own skin, because their skin is uniquely their own. Comparing yourself to someone is counter-productive because you will never be someone else.
Working at Renfrew has taught me things also. Girls struggling with eating disorders are just regular girls dealing with an exaggerated feelings about their bodies. I have not met a woman who isn't struggling with the same feelings.
Women think 'If I am thin I will be happy'. wrong. wrong. wrong. replace the word 'thin' with 'in control'. That's what it really means. It's easier to control our outward appearance then our inward feelings. The misconception is that if our outward appearance is better, then our inward feelings will follow. Inward feelings come first. then and only then will we treat our bodies with respect and love ourselves on the outside.
We all know this. The fact is that when stress becomes too much, or thoughts become too hard to bare, we relinquish control "of ourselves" by turning to our food intake. It's easier to blame our unwanted feelings on how we look. We need to meditate on these feelings and listen to what it is we are really trying to control. What has happened to us in our life that we rely on consumption or restriction of food for comfort? What are we really comforting? When restricting, what are we really punishing?
By no means have I figured any of this out for myself, but I have certainly done a lot of thinking about myself and my relationship to food/my body. It's a journey and everyday is different, but what I have learned from my thesis is that I am NOT alone.
bravery and confidence follows vulnerability.
insecurities makes you relate-able.
we are more similar then we are different.
There is NOTHING more rewarding then helping people, and making them feel good about themselves. My boss told me once that when she is feeling depressed she would volunteer somewhere and help those in need, I will never forget that. I honestly believe that we were put on this planet to help each other, i could tear up writing this because I feel like through my thesis work I connected with so many girls. They trusted me with deeply personal things. They deserve all the respect in the world for letting themselves be vulnerable.
The bottom line is that everyone deserves to be happy in their own skin, because their skin is uniquely their own. Comparing yourself to someone is counter-productive because you will never be someone else.
Working at Renfrew has taught me things also. Girls struggling with eating disorders are just regular girls dealing with an exaggerated feelings about their bodies. I have not met a woman who isn't struggling with the same feelings.
Women think 'If I am thin I will be happy'. wrong. wrong. wrong. replace the word 'thin' with 'in control'. That's what it really means. It's easier to control our outward appearance then our inward feelings. The misconception is that if our outward appearance is better, then our inward feelings will follow. Inward feelings come first. then and only then will we treat our bodies with respect and love ourselves on the outside.
We all know this. The fact is that when stress becomes too much, or thoughts become too hard to bare, we relinquish control "of ourselves" by turning to our food intake. It's easier to blame our unwanted feelings on how we look. We need to meditate on these feelings and listen to what it is we are really trying to control. What has happened to us in our life that we rely on consumption or restriction of food for comfort? What are we really comforting? When restricting, what are we really punishing?
By no means have I figured any of this out for myself, but I have certainly done a lot of thinking about myself and my relationship to food/my body. It's a journey and everyday is different, but what I have learned from my thesis is that I am NOT alone.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
not about to stop bloggin.
It has been a while, true.
This weekend, I said goodbye to 2 close friends, and welcome home to another. So sad! It's weird because I don't have any school work to do. Finals are over!!! chyea. I don't like doing nothing though, it makes me anxious. So I've been reading, and looking up art. The internet has been my attention seeking-buddy. There's some cool stuff.. but i don't have the artist for them. dig theseee:
TATA for now.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Art makes me thankful for:
GONNA GET REAL WITCHU:
Art, in a lot of ways, was my saving grace. It helped me figure out who I am, and more then that, it gave me confidence.
There I was: 16 years old, my first day of Sophmore year in highschool. I plopped my insecure self down in Ms. Knego's classroom and waited for my first art class to begin. Ms. Knego seemed different then all my other teachers, she was calmer, didn't dye her hair- despite how gray it was. She spoke softly and never raised her voice. She treated every single student the exact same way. I felt at ease in that class. I felt like I belonged in that classroom. Like it's where I should have been all along.
I never thought of myself as a smart or talented person. All of my friends received better grades then me, they were on honor roll and had much better study habits. I always felt like I was behind everyone, always playing catch up, never able to sit down and actually focus on something. My self-esteem was shot, essentially. It didn't help that my sister was an A student, whose hobby was reading and writing. All my cousins were in honor roll or graduating at the top of their class. While I always had a wonderful relationship with my family, I did feel different. I needed somethign else.
Art class was different. While we worked we were allowed to talk, or play music etc. My mind and body was stimulated. I never felt like my attention span was drifting. It was the first time I really put my mind into something. I was allowed to be whatever I wanted to be, do whatever I wanted to do. Art class was a place people didnt judge you on how "smart" you were, or how popular you were, how you dressed, etc. And it turns out-- I was good at it! I could draw, I "had a steady hand and a eye for color and shape..." Ms. Knego would tell me. My confidence was up, and I was rolling with it.
By the time I was in my senior studio art class I was convinced I wanted to go to school for art. My teacher told me I should also. I remember I was working on my portfolio for college and my friends would come over and hang out with me while I was drawing. It impressed them. I felt like people had a new found respect for me, I was in my niche and doing what I was good at. My identity was coming together, and I was excited for what the rest of my life had in store.
So, ART, I thank you. You made me an artist.
Art, in a lot of ways, was my saving grace. It helped me figure out who I am, and more then that, it gave me confidence.
There I was: 16 years old, my first day of Sophmore year in highschool. I plopped my insecure self down in Ms. Knego's classroom and waited for my first art class to begin. Ms. Knego seemed different then all my other teachers, she was calmer, didn't dye her hair- despite how gray it was. She spoke softly and never raised her voice. She treated every single student the exact same way. I felt at ease in that class. I felt like I belonged in that classroom. Like it's where I should have been all along.
I never thought of myself as a smart or talented person. All of my friends received better grades then me, they were on honor roll and had much better study habits. I always felt like I was behind everyone, always playing catch up, never able to sit down and actually focus on something. My self-esteem was shot, essentially. It didn't help that my sister was an A student, whose hobby was reading and writing. All my cousins were in honor roll or graduating at the top of their class. While I always had a wonderful relationship with my family, I did feel different. I needed somethign else.
Art class was different. While we worked we were allowed to talk, or play music etc. My mind and body was stimulated. I never felt like my attention span was drifting. It was the first time I really put my mind into something. I was allowed to be whatever I wanted to be, do whatever I wanted to do. Art class was a place people didnt judge you on how "smart" you were, or how popular you were, how you dressed, etc. And it turns out-- I was good at it! I could draw, I "had a steady hand and a eye for color and shape..." Ms. Knego would tell me. My confidence was up, and I was rolling with it.
By the time I was in my senior studio art class I was convinced I wanted to go to school for art. My teacher told me I should also. I remember I was working on my portfolio for college and my friends would come over and hang out with me while I was drawing. It impressed them. I felt like people had a new found respect for me, I was in my niche and doing what I was good at. My identity was coming together, and I was excited for what the rest of my life had in store.
So, ART, I thank you. You made me an artist.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
What I would MAKE with a million?
What WOULD i make?
If i had a million dollars, I would make something BIG. Something people can see from space. Theres this "350 art exhibit" that is going on right now that I think is pretty cool. People are making installations that are able to be seen from space, its an effort to spread awareness on global warming.
"350 parts per million is what many scientists, climate experts, and progressive national governments are now saying is the safe upper limit for CO2 in our atmosphere."
or! I would make my mom and amazing wedding.
(keepin' it short this time. In MA doing fun things!)
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
More inspiration
"Zed Nelson set out to capture the ageing process of a baby and his family, photographing them on the same day for 20 years:"
"These images, by photographers of the Farm Security Administration/Office of War Information, are some of the only color photographs taken of the effects of the Depression on America’s rural and small town populations. The photographs are the property of the Library of Congress and were included in a 2006 exhibit Bound for Glory: America in Color.":
"Korean artist Yeondoo Jung came to the phenomenal idea to convert children’s drawings into reality. He has collected more than 1,000 children’s drawings, chose the best and turned them into real scene. We all know that children’s drawings are imaginative and creative, but the staggering fact is how much imaginative and creative have to be adults, to comprehend what was drawn by children’s hand. The world will certainly look nicer if we ask kids what to do. So the next time you’re not sure how to paint the facade of the building, which color to choose for your car,? ask the children, they will certainly have a great idea.":
Monday, November 15, 2010
Inspiration outside of art
I firmly stand by the belief that everything I do or make is emotionally driven.
As of late, I am inspired by women. Mostly because (as defined in my previous posts) of my mother and sister and the dynamics of my family changing. A lot of my previous work has a very feminine touch, but it wasn't until recently I have been drawn to the image of a women in a more literal sense.
some themes, or words that inspire me:
body image
disordered eating
femininity
feminism
discipline
resilience
dedication
repetition
eyeballs
people. people. people. I remember in my painting I class that I hated painting until we did portraits, or figures. I am drawn to the body. I connect with the body, I understand it, I identify with it. I can't identify with the many colors there may be in a bell pepper or squash for various still life's we would have to do (sorry Betsey).
I am inspired by what makes people tick. Probably why I am an art therapy major. I want to know people's stories, where they've been from, how their life growing up was, why they like the things they like or why they hate the people they hate. Actually as im writing this I am realizing how true this is for me. I like story tellers and my inspiration as an artist lies in there. All artwork is, in a sense, autobiographical.
Because in reality, everyone has a story to tell. Not a single person in this world comes from the same story either. everyone is shaped by their genes, and experiences.
As of late, I am inspired by women. Mostly because (as defined in my previous posts) of my mother and sister and the dynamics of my family changing. A lot of my previous work has a very feminine touch, but it wasn't until recently I have been drawn to the image of a women in a more literal sense.
some themes, or words that inspire me:
body image
disordered eating
femininity
feminism
discipline
resilience
dedication
repetition
eyeballs
people. people. people. I remember in my painting I class that I hated painting until we did portraits, or figures. I am drawn to the body. I connect with the body, I understand it, I identify with it. I can't identify with the many colors there may be in a bell pepper or squash for various still life's we would have to do (sorry Betsey).
I am inspired by what makes people tick. Probably why I am an art therapy major. I want to know people's stories, where they've been from, how their life growing up was, why they like the things they like or why they hate the people they hate. Actually as im writing this I am realizing how true this is for me. I like story tellers and my inspiration as an artist lies in there. All artwork is, in a sense, autobiographical.
Because in reality, everyone has a story to tell. Not a single person in this world comes from the same story either. everyone is shaped by their genes, and experiences.
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